You know, I never really handled the 'curve balls' of life very well when suffering from depression. Not surprising I guess...
I think I felt victimised by bad news, challenging stuff. I also think that I was just soooo scared that I wouldn't be able to cope and often I didn't really.
I would overreact, worry myself silly, become ever so pessimistic and really just want to escape from whatever was happening. So, I think, looking back, I was just fearful of life, taking over and swallowing me up. No wonder, I didn't cope too well!...
My bedside 'comforting' things...
Anyway, now 'post'- depression, I am happy to say that whilst I still every now and again worry about 'bad stuff' happening (don't we all?), I am sooooooo much better equipped than I used to be.
So, life has a habit of testing you when you think you have things a little more sussed...
Here I was going along swimmingly... - then some huge 'curve balls' have headed this way and really had hubby and I reassess our lives. So this post is all about coming through these challenging times intact. Maybe a bit battered, weary but wiser, stronger and growing in wisdom and truth.
My story at the moment:
On May 1st, Guitar Man or aka my husband, Robert, myself and our boys went to an innocent little party. I say innocent because it was a 6th birthday for a little girl.
It was a rollerblading party. Fine, you might say! Yes, I thought so too until my husband broke his leg having a go at rollerblading. Yep, and it wasn't just a little, straightforward break. It involved surgery, a rod being fitted directly into the tibia bone (lower leg) and two screws inserted to keep the knee together and two to keep the ankle together. Then a cast, crutches and lots of pain and swelling. Oh, I nearly forgot, an open wound - as the bones broke they forced through the skin and tore muscle, blood vessels, nerves etc.
So, at first it was such a shock. I mean just an innocent little activity that could cause so much trauma to my hubby. He had five nights in hospital and I drove back and forth to visit. Robert's parents looked after our children when needed. Then he came home and reality struck! A husband who won't be able to walk without crutches for months! He couldn't work and he is self-employed. How could we stay afloat?
Basically it has meant taking on the lions share of really all tasks. Again, a few days is okay but we are now into the ninth week! Things are tough. Things are challenging. But I am actually trying to learn something through this experience. Rather than try to wriggle my way out of this uncomfortable stuff, I am trying to face it head on. I am really trying to make a positive out of a potentially negative situation.
So,
What am I learning from all of this?
What do I want to pass on to you dear friends?
Is there something useful in what I am going through that I could help others maybe going through a tough time?
Well, personally the situation has made me rethink a lot of things.
Some of what I have been thinking:
* To realise that my husband was actually doing more than I gave him credit for! (you know what I mean ladies!)
* That we are all so vulnerable in the scheme of things. I have had to 'let go' of trying to control the situation. I just can't.
* That I can cope. I may moan at times, things may be challening but I am taking it a step at a time and doing okay. I have stumbled at times but I have got up again (figuratively speaking - we both don't want broken legs!).
* Genuine friends are there if you need them but they are not mind readers - I have had to 'voice' what help I have needed.
* That pretty much always - someone else is experiencing much worse.
* LOVE IS WHAT MATTERS!
* That a positive is weaving its magic through this whole experience. I can feel it.
* That prayer DOES work...
Sweetie, if you are going through a 'curve ball' situation at the moment, this is what is helping me. I hope they ring a bell for you, or at least a little tinker bell!
Here goes:
* Nothing lasts forever... This too will pass Dearest... Even the darkest and scariest of things!
* We all have choices as to how we face a particular situation or dilemma... You don't have to respond like you always have done you know! Try something different...
* What you resist, will PERSIST! I used to resist like crazy. It doesn't get you anywhere...
* Look for the bigger picture to your situation - is there something that God/Universe is trying to tell you? Has this problem reared its head before? Or, is it a different situation but the same problem disguised?
* If you search, deep, deep within yourself as you are sitting quietly, what do you notice? Is there an area of your body such as your stomach, head, shoulders that feels tense, uncomfortable, uneasy? What is this discomfort trying to tell you Soul Sister?
* By sprinkling oodles of love on this situation, either to yourself or another person, would this change things for the better? The Universe responds to love always. The outcome may not be what you would like or want, but it will be better for you! (I know this is a bummer!)
* Sometimes we learn the most through 'yucky' times. Pay attention to how you respond and you will learn a lot about yourself. It is often from the biggest hurts or painful situations, that we find the greatest wisdom.
* Always, have gratitude for the things that are working in your life. Sometimes it has helped me just to write a couple of these things down each night...
* Stay 'open' to new possibility.
* Take care of yourself. If you are not okay, that's not helping anyone else.
Let it Go...
I hope my sharing helps shine a little chink of light in your life and goes a tiny way to maybe easing your burden.
xox
